How to Save Energy, Recycle and Diet all at the Same Time.

How to Save Energy, Recycle and Diet all at the Same Time.

Recycling, saving energy and keeping fit are all things people should do but often the time or inclination can’t be found. Here are a few topical tips to help do them, even all at once.

Keeping Fit at the Gym and in the Home

Think of all the time and energy expounded at gyms and fitness centres. Why can’t the energy that is sweated out by stressed obsessives on step machines, cycling machines and treadmills be harnessed to generators? In this way, all the power needed to run the fitness centre would be provided by the users themselves and any extra could be fed into the National Grid, thus reducing the country’s need for polluting, resource destroying, power stations.

Similarly, the government could legislate for all homes to have running machines, rowing machines and treadmills fitted as standard so that people could supply their own energy needs. This would solve several problems at once – cut the cost of energy in the home, reduce the growing obesity problem and tire out energetic toddlers. Strap a toddler to the running machine and let him go. Similarly with dogs.

In this way, every member of the family could contribute to supplying their home’s energy needs. Instead of slumped in front of the TV they could be pedalling to power their favourite soaps. And if there isn’t enough energy to power the programme then it would slow down like an old wind–up gramophone and thus encourage them to pedal faster. Just imagine the whole family striving to keep the television going as the X Factor neared its climax. There would be enough electricity generated to power the whole of the country.

Health Benefits of Keeping Fit

The exercise required would also get the circulation going, hence reducing the need for so much central heating, improve fitness and cut medical bills, physically tire viewers out so that insomnia would be a thing of the past and prove far more effective than dieting.

Everybody would be size 10s, with no cellulite, midriff bulges or varicose veins. They would look better, feel better and not worry about watching rubbish TV programmes in the middle of the afternoon, because it would be all for the good of society and the environment.

Recycling Food and Garden Waste

Those who live in high rise blocks are blessed, environmentally speaking. Flat roofs are ideal for a massive compost heap which not only recycles food and garden waste but provides insulation and beautiful rich loam. The warmth from the heap will also provide extra heating for the apartments.

Tower blocks could sprout magnificent hanging gardens, putting the ancient Babylonian wonder in the shade. Wildlife would be provided with a new safe haven in the sky, though safety nets would have to be provided for baby bunny rabbits who go too close to the edge.

Cutting the Environmental Cost of Travel

The government could also insist that cars are fitted with pedals at every seat so that passengers could contribute to the electricity needed to power the new non-polluting battery-operated cars. Hand pedals would double the output and contribute to the fitness of the passengers. No longer would they need to feel guilty about using a car and their body mass index, blood pressure and aerobic fitness levels improve. Children’s car seats would also carry them as standard so that the youngsters would feel part of the energy game and hopefully fall asleep exhausted after only a few miles, getting rid of the ‘are we nearly there yet?’ syndrome.

Flying could also make use of this concept. Budget airlines could become even less frilly by ensuring that those who could pedal or row faster paid less. The cabin crew could stand at the back of the plane, wielding long whips and shouting Faster! Harder! as they flew. In-flight entertainment would be provided by guessing the weight of passengers before and after their flight or by making bets on how many would survive the journey to the next airport.

And Finally…

Share a bed. Sleeping alone is not energy efficient. Another body in the bed, or even two or three more, generates much needed warmth on cold nights. In historical times, it was quite acceptable to share a bed in an inn or lodging house with a complete stranger. It’s only in recent years that people have started sleeping alone and who knows what friendships may come of such close contacts. People can sleep sound in the knowledge that they are doing their bit for society and keeping their feet warm at the same time.

Categories: Diet, Health, Nutrition